


aladdin a la arashi

by orphan_account



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Parody, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-20
Updated: 2009-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-23 20:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/254568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Aladdin spoof featuring Arashi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	aladdin a la arashi

**Author's Note:**

> Not to be taken seriously.

As soon as he heard the announcer’s voice booming through the ballroom, he curled up into a ball on his throne. He glanced up at his father, King Johnny, on his much bigger throne (in fact, it was probably ten thousand times bigger).

“And, now, introducing Prince Satoshi!”

He pressed his palms over his ears. He could not take the music. It was the only song the band knew. That and some crappy song about the sun crying. _What the hell, he thought, the sun doesn’t cry._

Suddenly he felt a whack at the back of his head. “Don’t be rude,” his father hissed. The king's grimace instantly turned into a grin as he greeted the new suitor.

Nino twisted himself around in his throne to face this “Prince Satoshi” character. He scowled when he saw the way he sauntered over to him. He wanted to break his legs. And that nose! He wanted to kiss- Nino mentally smacked himself. He wanted to punch it.

Prince Satoshi lowered himself on one knee and took Nino’s hand. “A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Princess Kazunari.” He pressed a soft kiss to his knuckle, which turned Nino’s face bright pink. He tried telling himself he blushed because he’d never been kissed like that before – which was true – but he had been kissed not-so-chastely plenty of times by his servant, MatsuJun.

Nino didn’t know why his father wanted him to get married so quickly anyway (well, his theory was that the King Johnny wanted him out of the palace so that he could get the harem of “juniors” all to himself). He was so sick of princes. They were so...arrogant. He already had MatsuJun and that was enough. _Anymore of this and I’ll marry Jun-kun,_ he thought.

The festivities were finally over and Nino had insulted every single one of the princes’ dancing skills (it wasn’t as if anyone else in the palace was any better). He collapsed onto his bed.

“Oh, your highness~” a playful voice giggled from behind the thick curtains of his canopy bed. “I’ve already laid out your night clothes. Do you need any help undressing?”

“I’ve already told you, Jun-kun, call me Nino.” He said this, although there was no point because MatsuJun thought the whole prince/servant thing was kinky. “And, no, I don’t need help. Thanks, though.”

MatsuJun pouted and sulked away. “I’m here if you need anything,” he called out before leaving the room.

Nino sighed and closed his eyes. All he could picture was the boy he’d met at the marketplace earlier that day. He hated himself for having forgotten his name. It something simple. OhYes? No, that just sounded stupid.

“Psst!”

Nino’s eyes fluttered open when he heard the whispering. “No, Jun-kun, I don’t need your help undressing.”

More whispers and hisses ensued. It was beginning to annoy Nino. “FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON’T NEED YOUR–”

Crash!

Nino jumped up, startled. A huge rock lay just inches from his balcony but he stared at the hole in the glass door. Wrenching the door open, he found nothing. “Come out, you coward! You are not getting away without paying for the damage! Whoa...”

Before him, appearing out of no where was a magic...fishing boat?

When Nino finally recognized the perpetrator, he gasped and pointed a finger at him. “You bastard!” But he couldn’t do much besides that.

Prince Satoshi’s eyes are wide and he stutters before finding his words. “Uhh, I totally didn’t mean to do that. I’ll get my genie- _I MEAN, SERVANT_ to fix that. Sho-kun!”

A figure that seemed to be dressed like a handyman materialized before him. He had...fairy wings. Sho sensed eyes directed at his back. “Yeah, I know what you’re thinking but I don’t make the decisions, okay?” He kept muttering under his breath as took measurements for the door, which was all for show because with the snap of a finger, the hole had disappeared. Nino was relieved immensely. The last time the glass broke, he got his DS taken away.

He went back to glaring at Prince Satoshi. “What are you doing here? And at this hour? _Outside of my balcony in a flying boat_?”

Prince Satoshi hesitated. He was bad enough at speaking but in the presence of attractive princesses? It was in impossible task.

A tiny Sho appeared on his shoulder with a _pop_. “Try being coy,” he hissed. “And confidence! Trust me, all the lady genies love confidence. I would know.”

“I, uh,” Prince Satoshi stammered. _This sucks,_ he thought. He took a deep breath and tried once more. “Why do you think I’m here, your highness?”

Nino scowled, sucked in as much air as he could, and yelled, “GUARDS!”

Prince Satoshi jumped off his boat and grabbed Nino, pressed his hand over his mouth, so he would shut up. Nino grunted and struggled against the man’s grip. “URHGASER, GET OFF ME!” His nostrils flared and smoked seemed to come out of his ears. “I’m giving you until the count of ten. If you aren’t gone by then, I’ll sick my pet tiger, Aiba, on you.”

Prince Satoshi’s eyes widened and he tried to protest but Nino had already begun his countdown. “Ten...”

“No, Princess, wait!”

“Nine...”

“I mean you no harm, really.”

“Eight...”

“I just had to see- ”

“Seven, six...”

Nino’s counting was getting faster. Tiny Sho appeared on his ear and tugged on it hard. “Come on, kid, we’d better get out of here. I’m afraid of tigers.”

“But- ”

“Five...why do I still here you voice? Four”

“Come on,” Sho said, beginning to panic. “I swear, I heard something growl.”

“Four...”

“Goodbye, princess,” Prince Satoshi whispered, blowing a kiss.

“Three, two, one! Ready or not, here I come!”

Nino blinked. He turned around, half expecting the man to be behind him. Nino tried to hide his disappointment. He couldn’t believe it. Nothing. The prince was gone, just like that. Poof.

 _Good-bye, princess._

“Princess Kazunari, Princess Kazunari, let down your hair.”

Nino gasped and ran to the edge of the balcony. He peeked over the edge to find none other than Prince Satoshi. Nino frowned but was smiling on the inside. “You idiot! I am letting down my hair,” he shouted, pointing at his short tresses, which only reached right below his ears.

But an argument about stealing famous lines went on below. Nino recognized the second voice as the genie/servant/fairy/carpenter/tiny man called Sho-kun.

He decided to play along. “Prince Satoshi, Prince Satoshi, wherefore art though, Prince Satoshi?” He didn’t want to boat but he felt he was quite the actor.

The prince rose slowly on his magical fishing boat. He stepped off onto the balcony and joined hands with Nino. “I’m here,” he said, breathless, as his breath had been taken away simply from being within close proximity of the princess. “Won’t you come with me?”

“Where?” Nino asked.

“Well, I was thinking of a boat ride followed by a nice moonlit dinner and some wine.”

Nino hesitated. The prospect of sneaking out at night was extremely enticing but he just couldn’t picture himself with a prince. _‘Or maybe you’re just unwilling to,’_ his conscience squeaked but since when did he listen to his conscience? “I don’t know...” he said.

“Merlot or Zinfandel?”

Nino was sold. He could always go for a good wine.

The princess climbed into the fishing boat, which, in actuality, housed a quite large interior. “I must warn you, I tend to get seasick.”

Prince Satoshi settled down beside Nino. “Don’t worry,” he smiled, “we don’t be riding in water. I’ll show you a whole new world.”

That seemed to be the cue as they flew into the horizon.

Just as they sped away, Nino felt different, as if a heavy burden had just disappeared. What he didn’t realize was that his glass slipper had fallen off into the moat surrounding the palace. The invisible one with King Johnny’s tracker chip in it.

Do not fear reader, as this is not part of the king’s evil plan to destroy his son to prevent being overthrown. Rather, it is part of his plan to steal the freedom of everyone who inhabited his palace. Now, Nino was finally free.

\----

Nino laughed as they flew low over a field of dandelions. Tiny, fluffy dandelion spores floated up to tickle his face. He closed his eyes and turned his face toward the breeze. The wind felt amazing in his hair. “This,” he turned to look at Prince Satoshi, “is amazing. Thank you...Ohno.”

Nino gasped. He didn’t know what force had convinced him to call him that but Prince Satoshi gazed lovingly at Nino. “Oh,” Nino gasped again, “It’s you!” He recognized him as the boy from the market. They told me you were dead!”

Ohno smiled, looking down at himself, thankful that he was alive, “I’m not. You see, princess-”

He was about to tell him the truth about his identity but Sho, the genie, whispered in his ear, “Lie to her. Don’t reveal yourself.”

“I, uh,” Prince Satoshi stammered, “I tend to disguise myself as a commoner! Yes, that’s it. To escape palace life. You know how dreary it is.”

Nino nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, I knew I’d find you, Prince Satoshi.”

“Please, call me Ohno,” he smiled and began to sing. “I can show you the world, shining shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?”

Nino swooned, his heart set aflutter. The one prince who could dance could sing, as well? He was, dare he say it...perfect. Nino could not help but to join in.

 _“A whole now wooorld, a dazzling place I never knew. But when I’m way up here, it’s crystal clear, that now I’m in a whole new world with youuu~”_

\----

After one too many glasses of wine, Nino was a little tipsy. He had to be assisted back to his bedroom (three times, he’d walked straight into the shiny, new glass door).

“Can you make it to bed yourself?” asked Ohno. He stayed close behind, in case the princess stumbled.

“Silly boy,” Nino hiccupped, “of course, I can’t- I mean, can. I’m only a tiny bit drunk.” He held up his fingers to demonstrate exactly how much but ended up poking himself in the eye. “Oww...”

Ohno sighed. He scooped Nino into his arms and carried him to his bed. “Oooh, I’m flying again! But Daddy will be very mad if he sees me flying inside the house.”

“Sleep tight, princess,” he grunted. The princess was...quite heavy. He dropped him into the mattress. Nino bounced right back up and kissed the prince on the nose. “I accept your marriage proposal.”

Ohno stumbled, quite taken aback by what had just happened. Nino giggled and pulled him in for a real kiss.

Now, legend has it that something more happened in Nino’s bedroom that night. Some speculate that MatsuJun burst into the room and caught the two before anything could happen. Some even say that they formed a threesome. But, alas, reader, this is merely a fairytale. But with a little bit of pixie dust and a lot of imagination, anything is possible.


End file.
